The Lady and the Orc (Orc Sworn #1) by Finley Fenn


Blurb: In a world of warring orcs and men, Lady Norr is condemned to a childless marriage, a cruel lord husband, and a life of genteel poverty — until the day her home is ransacked by a horde. And leading the charge is their hulking, deadly orc captain: the infamous Grimarr.


And Grimarr has a wicked plan for Lady Norr, and for ending this war once and for all. She’s going to become his captive — and the perfect snare for Lord Norr.


There’s no possible escape, and soon Lady Norr is dragged off toward Orc Mountain in the powerful arms of her greatest enemy. A ruthless, commanding warlord, with a velvet voice and mouthwatering scent, who awakens every forbidden hunger she never knew she had…


But Grimarr refuses to accept half measures — in war, or in pleasure. And before he’ll conquer Lady Norr’s deepest, darkest desires, she needs to surrender everything.


Her allegiance. Her wedding-ring. Her future…


And with her husband’s forces giving chase, Lady Norr can’t afford to play such a dangerous game — or can she? Even if this deadly orc’s plans might be the only way to save them all?


Review: I read this book as a joke, y'all. My friend, author Eliza MacArthur, posted a lengthy, multi-day saga on her Instagram stories about Orc-themed romance novels. It involved phrases like "groveling" and "buckets of cum" and I laughed along like a good little follower. Finally, with an Amazon gift card locked and loaded, I said what the hell and told her I was going to buy one and give it a read. I expected to enjoy myself. I expected to be entertained. I did not expect to literally fall in love with these orcs and their drama and their groveling and their manly tears and their dumb-ass betraying selves. But I did.


I cannot even begin to explain how kinky you need to be to enjoy these books. If you spend most of your time reading sweet little fade-to-blacks you will not survive this series. You will die in a confusing haze of huge dicks, epic amounts of semen, and exhibitionism.


Some important information:

*These orcs want mates to have their babies and keep their dying race from being exterminated entirely (so you're going to get some breeding fetish stuff), but it didn't bother me that much and I usually steer clear of romance novels that involve pregnancy/babies (accidental or otherwise).

*The orcs all have sex with each other and with women and some of them are gay but others are just bisexual. Honestly... just put leave your expectations of sexuality at the door for this read.

*Lots of sex between the main characters and secondary characters and whatnot (but once the hero and heroine are together there's no actual physical sex with other characters...at least not in the four books I read, these orcs are possessive.) I guess technically the heroine is cheating on her husband but he's an asshole and the author does a good job of just making you not care at all.

*Misunderstandings out the wazoo. I happen to not be bothered much by big misunderstandings in romance novels (because I love drama), but I know it bugs some people. I fucking loved it though. Fight more. Make up sex more. Come on.

*Lots of waffling from the heroine. She wants his dick, she doesn't want to be mated to an orc, but what about her husband, but she hates her husband, but oooorrrrrcccs are horrible. La la la. Whatever. Suck that dick and be cool, bitch.


So, this review has been more about the series as a whole than this book in particular, so I'll say this about the actual book: The Lady and the Orc is, in my opinion, the best of the series. I cried. Like, emotional tears. As in these fucking orcs made me feel feelings and actual tears fell out of my eyes! That almost never, ever happens to me when I read. And I'm not the only one. At least five people DMed me to tell me that they also cried. But weirdly not all at the same point. It seems each person was emotional touched by a different part of the book, which is pretty cool. No one expected for orc erotica to make them cry. But damn, this book will getcha.


The rest of the series is also good. Each book follows the same sort of formula honestly (hesitant woman, desperate and horny Orc, lots of sex, lots of misunderstandings, lots of drama, big betrayal), but I didn't even care. It worked. Why mess with perfection. I loved Fenn's ability to get me to super care about all these secondary Orcs too. I want happiness for them all! They deserve it! And I'll keep reading until they alll get their stories.


Finley Fenn has earned a lifelong reader in me. And I'm seeking out more Monster Romances because...damn. Weird dicks are apparently my thing.


This series is free on Kindle Unlimited, or only 2.99 per book (which is a great deal since this is a full-length novel, which I wasn't expected).